My random thoughts

Hello.
Well I figured I'd just post about random things today. Today I'm going to my brother's house for a family get together for Christmas. I know it's a little late but that's how my family is. We do things when we can. It's not perfect but at least we try to keep together as a family. I look forward to these get togethers, even though I'm kinda just there, in the background. My family does try to include me. They know that it's hard for me to be involved in conversations, especially when there are alot of people. I just get lost. I try to keep up but it never really happens so I have to have someone explain things to me or I just sit there and take in what I can. It's hard being deaf in a hearing family and it's even harder when all I can do with them is read their lips. Add in multiple people and you see what I have to deal with. Just one more reason why I can't wait to get cochlear implants! I'm tired of being swept aside because I can't communicate the way I used to. Don't take this as a pity party for myself, honestly I've dealt with this for 10 years and still going. I'm just content. This isn't about me, it's about our kids. It's about bringing the family together so we can enjoy each others company. I just hate that my hearing is the barrier that keeps me from enjoying it to the fullest. One day soon, hopefully, this won't be a problem anymore. On that note, I do communicate with alot of people, just mostly online. On my Facebook I try to be as funny and happy as possible. Posting things I see on Facebook and sharing them to give others a laugh. I also post videos of music off and on. I get songs in my head at random and I post these for others to enjoy. Granted they are all older songs from before 2004 but it's nice to reminisce about old times and songs are the best way to do that. People always ask me, how do I live without music. Well, technically I don't. I have over 30 years of music that run through my head. I see something that reminds me of a song and there it is, playing in my head. Some times the full song, sometimes just little snippets on repeat. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes it annoys me. Much like anyone else. We all get songs stuck in our heads, well, so do I. I just can't hear them anymore. But seeing posts of songs, videos,  etc. It brings it all back to me and I'm just jamming away in my head. When I get cochlear implants my goal is to catch up on music. Listen to all my favorite old bands again, new and old, and learn about all the new bands I missed out on in the last 10 years! Thank God for all the new technology because without cochlear implants, MP3 players, iPods, and many more, I would not be able to catch up for a long long time, if ever. As it is I can catch up 10 years of music in a few days for the most part and gradually catch up to more as time goes by.  So many things to catch up to when I get my hearing back, not just music but everything, and I look forward to it all!